| god.......i hate sickness.... its sux.......i got to go the airport to pick up my parents today... and i should feel very excited..but im not......maybe coz im sick... maybe coz i havn't planned the trip yet..... anyways..
so i moved to this new place, f.f helped me moving and unpack and everything. and the first night he left, i felt lonelyness. the feeling is soo fimiliar i was shocked.... so all the sudden, i wanted to call one of my exs.... it's not like i miss any of them, but just the feeling when i was living alone, in that building. yah, at that time, i was still madly in love with one of them, but i was alone..... so i called him everyday, lying in my bed in the darkness.....tell him what's going on in my life....and stuff.. i guess i wasn't in love with him at all, i was just lonely, or maybe breaking up with him deepened my lonelyless.....either way, those days sucked. now i have f.f. i am truely happy.... but the moments i shut down all the lights, the lonelyness came to me.....as if it's one of my old freinds, just came back to visit..it stayed for a while.... then i made the call. well, i guess it's stupid to call, everytime i call, it turns out disappointing. coz we are on a different earth now. nobody actually gives a shit of the other... so why bother...... but i still did, maybe i was expecting him to have the same feeling about the past, but as usual, he was studying for a final. oh. well... nobody to blame.. just human nature.....
ugly. |
